Hyperkult

From my favorite "Vogue" shoot of all time; Natalia Vodianova as "Alice," shot by Annie Leibovitz, December 2003

When NPR put out a call for its Facebook fans and Twitter followers to sum up 2009 in one word, the response was immediate, the theme, obvious. Last I checked on tha ‘Book, over 3,000 users submitted responses mainly lamenting the shit-tastic year that was. NPR’s Andy Carvin used Wordle, a fantastically entertaining visual language “toy,” to create a collage out of the results, revealing feedback along the lines of “ugh,” “crappy,” “bittersweet,” and “fubar” (”fucked up beyond all recognition”).

But there, lying smack dab in the middle of the colorful tag cloud was a beacon of hope: “change.” This was indeed the theme of 2009. While I agree with fellow Facebook users that the last year was “sucky” on many fronts, I also remind myself that change is inherently painful. It requires that we are jolted from all that is safe and comfortable, that we consider a wildly different existence—one that may make us “fitter, happier, more productive,” yet doesn’t promise a permanently blissful future.

2009 bequeathed me a layoff, romantic trysts gone awry, the unexpected conclusion of a friendship, and general malaise— inheritances which range from mild disappointments to wrenching stabs. At least, they have been edifying, and I write this today with a persistent, dopey sense of hope that things can and will get better.

I revel in the possibility that a new year, new decade, and in just over a week’s time, my birthday, superficially mark on calendars. When I started this blog, I ended my inaugural post as I readied to leave my apartment and hike Runyon Canyon, “hoping for a momentary break in the cloud coverage” as a symbolic cue that all would be okay. Now, in the early morning hours of January 1st, I’m throwing on my running shoes in pursuit of the catharsis that a few laps around Silverlake Reservoir offers. It’s clear outside.